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RJ
14 November 2009 @ 08:23 pm
One of the "Open web awards" is nominating my towns newspaper for "Best online newspaper" What did the New Yorker not have one? Go ahead and vote for it [Toledo Blade] Oh! Vote for [info]littlekuriboh too! His youtube channel (CardgamesFTW) is up for nomination. As is Doug's (That guy with the glasses) for his skit with Nostalgia Critic.

Hold on, let me shamlessly plug both things so you can go see the sites themselves.

http://www.youtube.com/CardgamesFTW

http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com


Talk about random though, I'll give 'em that.

I didn't even know until recently that there was such a thing as: "Open web awards"

How does one go about accepting the award anyway?

It doesn't strike me as some sort of a "come together fancy gathering"

http://mashable.com/2009/11/13/open-web-awards-leading-nominees/ (All the nominees are here)

http://mashable.com/owa/votes/add (you can vote here)

[Just gotta log into Twitter and/or Facebook]

Thanks for anyone that votes! :]
 
 
Current Mood: impressed
 
 
RJ
03 November 2009 @ 05:19 am

A random Junpei I found.


Back home.
Gotta tell you, for it being my first con.
I was bored by day two.

If not for the guests panels being kind of spread out, i'd probably not of stuck around.

To be honest, the only issues I had were: the bad combination of B.O./"The Game" [which was obnoxious just so you know]/How certain panels were placed beside other things [MST4K was right next door to the rave, so much for enjoying a movie]/ and people for reasons quite beyond me after for the most part of everyone just getting over a huge epidemic known as H1N1 -still- asking for hugs and wanting to make bodily contact..why? Well I guess outside of that, things weren't too bad.

Though I do know I'll never be going if someone else is willing to pay my way again. He didn't even want to bother to hang with me, and most of the time probably kept trying to creep the abridged crews. Why? I don't know. I just know I kept getting text's about it.


So to [info]littlekuriboh, I apologize in advance for his behavior if it was awkward. Guilt by association I suppose. I just know he's not the world's most nicest guy to talk to if you want to skip the obnoxious behavior

Also to, [info]somatosensation and [info]on_a_corndog: I wish we had got to hang out more. I hope you both feel better soon. I totally forgot to bring my medical terminology book. Then again, with my hotel being an hour away from the con and I know everyone had their own agenda, I really just decided against it in the end.


...though I can't shake off that feeling that for the hour I spent in the dealers room browsing with when gifts were bought for the guys..it almost feels stalker/creeper'ish of me to tag along.

Though that's just me and my paranoia I suppose.

All that's left for me to do now is hunt down people who kept snapping photo's of me in my on again off again Yukari/Anzu cosplay [Lots of the shots I had others take of me with my camera I don't have the bow on or you cant see the sash, lol]


My stomach hurts =/


Now all that's left, is my wait for the woman to call me back about my new work schedule.

Yay work.
 
 
Current Mood: sick
 
 
RJ
28 October 2009 @ 05:19 am
I dislike knowing I've got no choice but to try and put myself on a legit sleep schedule. I mean, it's all for sake of the con this weekend but man. Turns out the hotel I'll be at is an hour from the con itself via walking. Which truth be told, is no big deal. I'll leave a bit early if it means getting to things on time to enjoy myself. I doubt i'll be sleeping much either. The only thing I regret is not having more money to buy odds and ends if i'd want them.

For reasons beyond me lately i've been experiencing heat flashes. Mainly only at night. I know, I don't get it either. Also, what is it that people cant seem to comprehend that if we're no longer friends or in a relationship together it's probably for good reason. A good enough reason that you shouldn't come trying to creep me on facebook or myspace due to your lack of having nothing better to do.

Ugh -o-'

I'm sad no Glee's on tomorrow ;o;

...And my fiance's in the other room at 5:30 in the morning doing dishes jaming out to Kelly Clarkson and Backstreet Boys.

Should I be concerned? o_o
 
 
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Feel Good Inc. / Gorillaz
 
 
RJ
24 October 2009 @ 02:46 pm
So i've been seeing someone on FB keep posting make up tutorials that are all the rage from youtube. Now mind you,i watch them. Never follow. I'm more the type to prefer experimenting on my own. That way if it looks awful, i only have myself to blame. So I decided that after the previous picture of my boyfriend and I, with our failed photo-op, I'd take some images of my own. I thought these weren't nearly as blurred; and figured you guys would like to see one.


Cute yes?


So I wish this week would be more busy.

I have my grandma's surprise party tomorrow, the con on friday til sunday.

Outside of that?

I've got nothin'.

Today's thrill the world right? Man I wish I could of went to the event somehow! -jealous-
 
 
RJ
23 October 2009 @ 02:43 pm
"(Anonymous) on October 23rd, 2009 12:23 pm (local)
IP Address:(67.248.54.219)
You're a whiny bitch who allows anonymous comments in the first place. If you don't want them, then disabled them. Otherwise, have some cheese with your whine and shut up."

LOLOLOL.
Woooow way to come at me with the nineties anon.
You forgot to do the "loser" cough.

-5 points.

We need to go to the store today, but this rain is awful.
I don't feel like walking in it.

Does anyone have any good ideas for picture taking? My boyfriend says he's up for it if i just decide on something. Problem is, I'm more of the "point and click" type. Which it doesn't seem like he is, since we tried yesterday - and it only annoyed him.



I mean, I think the blurred look is a little cute. Not what I was going for though.
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
RJ
22 October 2009 @ 07:02 pm
Wow.  
I've been meaning to put this out there for the longest, and i'm tired of hiding it.

The mere thought of shipping DBZ and Sailor Moon sickens me.

I mean, sure the cheap hentai that was made between the two was hilarious and all.. (Yes I did unfortunately see it; against my better judgement I might add.) Though, so far as I'm concerned; it was only made as hentai for a reason.

Or so I would hope.

I SINCERELY HOPE.

Glee as usual was amazing.

I'm in love all over again.

Is the con really that close already?

Everything's finally set in stone and done, god it makes me so glad to know.

Now all I need to do is get over my fear of being anything but anti-social and being in large groups in less than a week..

Wish me luck 8D
 
 
Current Mood: touched
 
 
RJ
14 October 2009 @ 05:57 pm
Well because people can't tend to comprehend when I just want some genuine compassion and instead do the logic of the "no offense but.." Which for the record? Completely negates anything you say after that point. That term will forever and always mean that you infact do mean to be offensive and couldn't care less. Yet you think by saying that line, it's perfectly okay. It isn't.

I blog about "feeling emo" or "angsting" because guess what? I can. It's my journal. Yes, that's established. However, when I make a post about leaving just a comment to leave a comment..it does not entitle you to give me one for only sake of being a total bitch. That's right, I said it. A total bitch. Not that you care, and it's not that I do over-all. Especially since given the community I met you both from was full of nothing but awful people anyway.

I don't need "professional help", and I certainly don't need your obvious lack of care. That's all it is. Why? Any other time you'd never bother to say a word to me or even bother to acknowledge I exist at all. Now because to you it sounds as if I'm whining that clearly that's all it is and by leaving some nasty insulting words then that alone should clearly tide me over.

Wrong.

My life is shit, because I feel it's shit. You don't like it? Good. Don't comment. I only ask some people would in assuming, SOME might feel the need to want to give a damn or do to atleast a little extent. Yet if either of the two of you made up some blog about a depressing day; I can bet good money you'd expect everyone to come flocking to your beck and call. I ask it once and it's wrong of me? Fuck me for wanting someone to talk with to try and relate to my issues.

It's okay, seeing as the last couple of comments on my previous post helped me cut down my friends list a good notch.

Anyone else got something stupid to tell me?

Go ahead.

You'll be next.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
RJ
26 September 2009 @ 09:08 am
Hay.  
Anyone going to YoumaCon who can provide for a cute lil' stow-a-way?
PLEASE?! D8
I mean, I'm travel sized so you can stuff me in the trunk if you wanna.
..I just REALLY wanna go to a con, and I'm thinking this one's pretty cheap.
Plus it's like, right above me - so it's not like it'd be going out of your way to get me

C'MON.
I'm worth it ;o;

I also re-did my layout.
YAY.
 
 
Current Mood: tired
 
 
RJ
20 July 2009 @ 11:31 am







[I feel | Numb.]
[I'm listening to | Viva La Vida By Cold Play.]

You ever find yourself sound asleep after not going to bed til not too long before hand only to be awoke by a phone call conversation you'd rather not of had?

Well, now i've caught you up to speed with my day.

I hadn't gone to bed til six or so, around eleven I get a phone call.

For those of you who don't know? I had my son on the third of July.

He had beckwith-weidmann syndrome on top of being born premature.

His due date was September 19th.

The problem? His condition was so severe that while within me it was causing a 'mirror' image and it didn't take long until I was having the same problem that he was assuming holding within me.

After what was supposed to be a normal prenatal check up on July 1st. The next thing I know before there's time to blink thanks to my health appearing at risk to medical doctors, I'm within an operating room not knowing what or how to feel under-going a C-section.

Yeah, it went that fast.

Had I been somehow able to hold onto him til September, doctors speculate it'd of probably cost me my own life.

I think you see were I'm going with this blog, don't you?

My life or his.

No doctor would come out and be blunt to say it, but even after his birth and his going straight to an incubator - i knew the worst would occur with so many unfortunate factors against him before anyone even needed to tell me.

Though I told myself I wouldn't let it get me down. I'd keep a smile and go from day to day hoping for the best. If he made it to six months with the given conditions; surely he'd be like his mother and trump everyone in surprise by pulling through.

It's not just what I'd gather the baby would want, but the father too. If i let everything get to me and remained pessimistic.. it'd do no good for anyone. Not just me, but for anyone else wanting and willing to be around me.

While it sounds silly to think something so little and in need could somehow tell you how to feel for him - i still felt it. I mean, if i let everything get to me..what good would it do if something serious had happened? Or even more so, if it hadn't.

I almost forgot, if you don't know what Beckwith-Wiedmann Syndrome is: it's an overgrowth disorder present at birth characterized by an increased risk of childhood cancer and certain features.

If you saw images i posted, you could see his tongue was abnormally large; just to name off on problem. Not to mention, his stomach within the womb hadn't formed properly so he wasn't able to obtain proper nutrients thanks to the tongue. Though even some of his organs that did manage to form, were as well a bit too large.

See why it was a big issue now?

My main thing in all of this was, whether it be now or later in life - I never wanted to see my son struggle like I had to in my youth. I too have health conditions, and it was hell. Pure Hell.

So as his health issues have slowly but surely got the best of him, you can see my frustration in wishing the hospital would just stop putting him through so much of a struggle and allow him to be let go.

The hospital knowing more on his condition and how or what to do to in hopes make him better was given full custody. He'd be there for two months, and their clearly more educated than I - it only made sense.

Well, from the sound of my phone call this morning..he won't be living i'd say past today. I was asked if I'd want to be there to see him be let go. Though truth be told, not only do hospitals give me creeps but given everything else on top of it? Plus i'm not at home? It'd be emotional suicide.

I wanted to adopt him from sake of as fore-mentioned my own childhood being god awful and never wanting my own kids to suffer the same. So if you add an unexpected early birth, a c-section, over extended hospital stay, having no adoptive family even chosen, my own family and the fathers being up our butts on what -they- feel we should do and not treating nor seeing us as equal adults with our own thoughts and beliefs.. plus anything you carry around even with all this in the works for that long and seeing it after you give it life..

Obviously I grew attached.

I told myself it'd be okay, if he'd be at the hospital right down the street from me for two months; then even if only for that short time frame.. it couldn't hurt. I'd need to be involved anyway to pick out a new family and so it be best i get to meet and see my son for sake of being relieved he'd make it through, Like i said, wishful thinking i know but being sad wouldn't of helped anything.

That'd of been more of a harm than a help to be so down. Especially when it was pre-expected I'd go through post-partum. That and.. again, everything was completely un-planned and uncertain how or what would go which way.

Truly I wish Sam nothing but the best and i'm sorry to see him go. Though to let that be the deciding factor to stop my own life? I can't. People will expect to see me down, expect to see me go through the motions but.. those who -really- matter to me: I know they wouldn't want that.

He's in a better place now.

Which if my fiance heard me say that, he'd probably lose his mind.. neither him nor I are too religious and for one i went ahead not thinking from what he would of wanted to name the baby if we had a girl and gave our son the equivalent male name.

Baring a child to a catholic hospital, giving him a biblical name, i think deep down i did all this in knowing from the start when they told me with him still inside of his on-coming problems that he wouldn't make it. Then, to be self-assured that once it did happen..he wouldn't suffer the same fate in the after life that i'm probably bound to.. you see were i'm going with this.

It's crazy how maternal yet practical all this process has made me. I know people all say every mother goes through it regardless of what occurs to their children but.. it seems like it was only just yesterday I was sitting around behind a computer screen having no worries in life and chatting it up with other friends on yahoo.

Wow..


I wont let this get me down, i'll mourn as i should.. but I refuse to let it completely ruin me. We'll try again for a child, later in life. MUCH later this time. We wanted to be completely ready if it were to ever occur again..and that's just smart not to mention right.

Now is the time to keep on, for me - for EmJay - and especially for Samuel.
It's what he'd want. He'd want me to be happy he's no longer suffering and that I managed to come out of it okay. Actually, that's what EmJay wants too. He was so worried for me seeing how my condition along with Sams when i was pregnant kept getting worse and worse. I was his first and foremost concern, and that's..just so sweet.

I'll never forget Sam. Thanks to him and his coming into the world even if only for about a month, it helped not only me get my life together; but EmJay too. We came to realize fast as soon as figuring out I was pregnant that what we would do on a regular basis was more serious than we gave credit and that things needed to be fixed. Not just job wise, but relationship, living, etc etc.

After all, thanks to Samuel looking out for me even without being able to yet see himself.. i'm finally accomplishing one of my goals amongst many and getting married. Isn't that something? Just something else i'd NEVER thought i'd read/hear/see myself say. He's done so much for me without even really doing anything at all other than being there.

Talk about amazing.

He'd of been such a momma's boy.

Can you blame me though? Look at everything he did.

I'm still in shock, but i've got others to talk with..and blogging er uh..live..journaling here..it's really helped to give me the chance to sit back and smile. I guess it sounds odd, but given what i've said.. is it really?

I promised myself when this would happen [and i knew it would; even if i tried not to dwell on it] that I wouldn't cry. It wouldn't help and furthermore, the people who matter most [as i keep preaching; lol] wouldn't want me sad so..

For once livejournal has served a logical purpose in my life.

Not sure when they'll let him go, but i'd imagine at some point today.

I just don't have the heart to see it, as strong as i probably sound to a lot of you?

I'd lose my mind to watch him go.

Thankfully, he'll no longer be struggling and in pain by tomorrow.

That's whats most important.

Well, that was a lot to ramble about.. and who knows whose going to read this.
I just feel better getting out my thoughts and feelings somewhere.

Here's hoping to the next time things going better [since i found out what happened with my son was..pretty much a fluke. I don't get it either, but it's what I was told] and I'll have a little girl.

I know, I know!
It's a 50/50 chance..

I can still hope right?
I'd love to have a little girl..

Even if the dad will probably wind up a total push-over with her..and I'll be overly jealous of this factor..
I'm okay with that.

Huh, feels like..I've seen this situation occur elsewhere at some point before with something I watched growing up and loving as a child that continued on into my being an adult.

Hmmm..I just i..gosh..

Can't seem to place my finger on it.. Hmmmmm...

Thank you Live Journal, Anyone who reads this, and so on and so forth.

It's fully appreciated, and I feel better now.

Edit

I got a call at 3:23 p.m. from one of the women whose been watching over him for me. [I don't drive and what not] He passed away not seconds after she called to tell me. Thankfully it was painless and they'll be holding a funeral come Friday.

While I don't want to sound heartless, with my mixed emotions right now.. knowing i'm not too religious and only deeming such for Sams' sake - i think if i went..it'd only make things worse. Just throwing it out there. I might be able to stomach a lot, but to put up with all of that and being at prior funeral services before were it's never about the person but always about jesus or god instead? I think i'm good on knowing he's better off now..
 
 
RJ
09 December 2008 @ 08:53 am

[I feel| Displeased.]
[I'm listening to| Silence.]

Is it just me, or have cosplayer's stopped trying any more?
The majority don't even look pretty..nevermind the epic failure that is costume making.

Also, to hell with this Twilight crap. Twatlight, Twitlight, ...whatever you call it. I don't know about kids these days, I really don't. Back in my day we only had ANNE RICE. Though apparently if a vampire sparkles and is slightly good looking to the untrained eye, it's DEFINITELY more appealing that any other vampire novel eveeeeer made.

-eyeroll-
/rant

That's it, all I had to ask/complain aloud.
Going to school now.
Kbaaaaai.
 
 
RJ
29 March 2008 @ 03:56 pm
 

[I feel| Peaceful]
[I'm Jamming to| Hot n Cold by Katy Perry]

Here, have your stupid once a month update people!
Juuuust kidding.


Life life life, it's going a little better than what I re-read in my last post. I stopped talking to the guy I mentioned, and even managed to have a nice sit down about how i've been feelin' with EmJay the last time he was up here. So yes, it's all coming back to me.

I actually quit speaking to the majority of my friends too, just because I've come to find i'm better off. Things never seem to happen to my liking and only do happen when they feel they've got nothing better to do. If that's what friends are then I don't need any enemies. S'long as I got a Ps2, Job, and a loving boyfriend? I'm all set.

Enough about that! I saw something rather disturbing on the news last night that just goes to show they REALLY must be itching for better stories.. it's so bad; I felt like sharing with all of you 8)

Okay so get this, a local man was found near a nearby elementary school having sex with his patio table. Not on it, with it. I don't think my jaw was ever at a drop for that long before in my life. I mean sure, we've all got odd fetishes [2girls1cup anyone?] but.. come on..of all the electional debates occuring and even trouble overseas.. you wanna focus on something like that for local news? Jesus.

Before I forget:












Did I mention I finally bought the first DVD to Wallflower? Totally stoked; so far anyone whose come over i've forced them to watch it. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Anyway, that's about all for now kids.

Tune in next time; same journal same person.


Peace!
 
 
RJ
27 January 2008 @ 03:14 pm
Anyone read this anymore? If not I may as well just not bother anymore then. -Nod-
 
 
RJ
26 July 2007 @ 04:31 pm
Livin in a shelter house now.
Kthxbai.

[[Call me before 11 P.M. 419-241-3206, Just make sure you ask for Becky]]
 
 
RJ

[I feel| Drained]
[I'm Jamming to| One more sad song By All American Rejects]

Got a cell phone now.
I know, it's about damn time.
I leave it up to you out there, if you want the number or not.

Let me know here, or.. i'd prefer it if you just messaged me to ask.
Either way...Me love you long time?
 
 
RJ
06 February 2007 @ 09:43 pm

[I feel| Amused.]
[I'm listening to | [H]ouse ]


I'm a pretty boy ♥!
 
 
RJ
04 February 2007 @ 01:26 pm

[I feel| Excited.]
[I'm Jamming to| Get Busy By Sean Paul]

Less and less of me is seen, as I continue living were I am.
Not from habit, but I realize that life's not so bad without needing to be behind a computer screen. Sure it's nice, but uneeded. The downfall? No more pretty colored manga works. Not til I fork out 200 to get my own computer. It's not much but, I just moved and still have to pay back the bank, not to mention finally start buying things for me for once.

First off, my room has three windows.
Yeah, three.
So it's just as cold in my room as it feels outside.

Sure we have heat.
Does it actually help my room?

Not in the least.
*Sigh*

I'm not sure what to ramble on about here, I'm planning to buy all of the peach girl manga and the dbz box set coming out with my next check [Oh trust me, I will!]

..With what's left, I'm gonna buy my neice a gift for her birthday; and see where it takes me from there eh? So on that note, that's about all for now. I'm gonna go scrounge up my sisters number, and give her a call. ♥

Oh yea, first time getting drunk this weekend.
I mean, actual vomit enducing drunk.
Good times, good times..
 
 
RJ
29 January 2007 @ 01:54 pm

[I feel| Anxious]
[I'm listening to| The keyboard]

So I was watching the one Dane Cook special, for the unteenth time on comedy central. Y'know, the one were he's talking about church and stuff.. and time travel.

Yeah, that one.

Well, when he began rambling about that time travel skit. About, how he'd go back in time right to the point of when his parents were doing it, then smack his dad on the ass and yell, "I'M YOUR SON!! I'M YOU'RE SON FROM THE FUTURE!"

....Why did it make me think of Trunks?

Lmfao.

I don't even know.

Yet, I could SEE it in my mind.

Speak of, "in my mind."
I've got back into DBZ again.

That's about it for now, off to work..
Hooray.
 
 
RJ
13 January 2007 @ 11:41 pm

[I feel| Curious.]
[I'm Jamming to| National Lampoons': Van Wilder]

Re-name tokeeeen!
[Thank you very much Yuka! ♥]
Thanks much to Aine for the idea for the name.
My trials for paint and photo shop went out.
I hear they bind to your I.P. address and you can't re-download 'em...

*Sigh*

Any other options for programs that have layering?
I need to know so I can keep coloring manga images!

Please and thank you.
 
 
RJ
23 December 2006 @ 04:08 am

[I feel Nostalgic.]
[I'm Jamming to| Since U been gone By Kelly Clarkson]

Almost four in the morning, why am I still awake?
Went to a sucky party last night [lamesauce.]
Sick of the bank over-charging me, i'm tempted to just not bother banking anymore..

Party?
Not really.

Not unless you count watching Inuyasha movies on Adult Swim back to back a good celebration.

*Shrug*

Re-watched Rocky Horror Picture Show last night.
Good times, good times.

Oh, and Mcdonalds decided to sell Yu-gi-oh GX toys in their kid meals for boys.
Ick.

As if seeing the show plastered all over but at work isn't enough, now I get this?
BLASPHEMY!

Well, go on and leave your happy birthday's for me here.
That was the intention of the post anyway.

Edit!

I read some of Love Celeb today!
...because what's better to do than read humor smut on your birthday?

All I can say is..
Sakuya knowing Gin? Come on now, that's a one in billion shot.

I dislike stories like that.. and the main girls name only makes me think of Inuyasha.

Kirara? *Shakes head*

..I ignore it tho, just call her K in my mind.
 
 
RJ
30 November 2006 @ 04:42 am

[I feel| Listless.]
[I'm Jamming to| Mizerable By Gackt.]

Thought I ought to put it out there, that i'll be the big 2-1 soon.
Decided to throw the party at home, just to be safe.

I want to buy everyone something here too.
I'm going to work my ass off after this next check so I can.
Question is, what the hell do any of you want?
..Nothing TOO expensive, I aint pullin no Wii's or PS3's out my ass kaye?

I'd like things too, cards.. gifts.. anything.
I more looking for a good cellphone.
One with unlimited minutes, but is still cheap per month.
[Revol seems to be my best bet so far]

I can pay monthly, it's just buying the phone that might be trouble.
So, if you want to send me something; or want me to send you something..

Let me know.

Wish List:

Cellphone
Sailor Stars DVD set
Clothes [I like punky stuff.. nothing too provactive. I wear 14/16 petite[junior] for pants and..shirts are medium sized]
Cards are nice [show me your love?]
Make-up [keep in mind i'm a pale skinned girl..but i love earth-tone]
Flowers and candy
...munnies for booze [lawl]

Anything really, i'd be content.